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“When victim thinking takes hold like I believe it has in our nation, we are closed off from making changes that ultimately allow freedom to reign.”
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 202.
Do you have any doubt that we are living in a Victim-Based Society? We have somehow gotten to the point where we are so offended at so many different things that it is hard to believe. It is when we close off our thinking in ways as to try and obtain our “rights” at any cost that the very people who feel victimized become victimizers themselves.
I saw this television news interview the other day that so illustrates my point. I am willing to bet that this illustration will offend some and for that I am truly sorry. It is in no way my intention to cause you harm, and my words simply can’t harm you in way when compared to the pain real victims feel each and every day. Please keep an open mind and let me share this story.
On the news show there was a discussion regarding the violence that has ensued as a result of the desire to remove certain Civil War monuments. I totally get the angst people feel with what these monuments represent. For the millions of Africans who were ripped out of their homeland and forcibly taken advantage of in horrific ways, there are no words strong enough to condemn that dark part of our History. For that reason alone I tend to agree that the public square might not be the appropriate place for monuments that some see as celebrating this terrible time in our nation’s history.
In the interview they played the tape of a very distinguished, well spoken and very influential African-American woman. This person was an elected official in a town where there were discussing the removal of such monuments. This lady said a couple of things that made me cringe when it comes to the issue of victor living and victim thinking.
She said something to the effect that this statue of a Civil War general offended her deeply. That I can totally understand and have no problem with that statement to any great extent. She then went on to say that she was a victim of this General and all he stood for in this country. That comment really sent me the wrong way.
Victim, really? A duly elected official, holding a position of authority in a sizable town is relating to being a victim of a general who died over a hundred years ago? Her Great, great grandfather might have been a victim of those policies this general represented but is this woman really a victim?
Yes her family ended up in a place they didn’t choose hundreds of years ago. Yes they faced horrific abuse at the hands of those who saw her ancestors as property and even less. But, can this woman of influence really say that she was victimized in today’s world? Words have power and if we use them incorrectly we can get to places where we will be so offended that we won’t be open to civil discourse and then unity goes out the window.
This woman’s ancestor was a victim - there is no doubt in my mind of that fact. She is standing on the shoulders of the past atrocities in ways that has made it possible for her to achieve a level of success her enslaved relatives would have never thought possible. How can this woman of position, means ad authority be a victim of a statue and what that statue represents. She’s a victor of the highest caliber and she should be celebrating that fact as I can imagine her ancestors are to this day.
It is when we hold onto offense that we shut down in ways that causes more and more disunity. Take a look at the issues of offense from the Biblical perspective.
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you. Ephesians 4:31-32 (NIV)
The answer to offense is forgiveness. Bitterness, anger rage, brawling, slander and malice happen the more we hang onto offense. It is when we forgive that we have a chance at living out the victor's life that we have worked so hard to obtain.
Forgiveness isn't about condoning what happened. It is about moving forward out of offense so that we can live the fullness of the life that God has made the way for us to live.
Forgiveness brings with it something that we often overlook in this life. Forgiveness brings a level of acceptance that makes it so much easier to deal with where we are today and to recognize the progress that we have made in this world. It is when we hang on to the offenses of the past that we can fail to see the miracles of life that we have enjoyed - miracles that might not have been possible had not that offense in the past happened in the first place.
I know how hard it is to forgive. I also know that it is so easy to say we have forgiven and then act in offense backed victim thinking ways that cause disunity and damage in the world around us. Forgiving might take years of practice but I guarantee the time will be well spent as more and more peace enters your life the more you throw off the vestiges of past hurts in your life.
Just like every day, today you have a choice. Either you can live viewing life through the lens of past hurts and fight to make right a history that just can't be changed or you can live like a victor. The victory's choice is to forgive the past and focus on the now so that the future can be all it should be in our lives. Staying focused in the past guarantees stagnation and further entrenches the Victim-Based Society that is dragging our nation to a halt.
Be a part of change today. Choose your victor status over victim thinking ways. Forgive where you need to and move on with your life. This will make it possible to make real and lasting change in and around your lives in ways being stuck in offense will never be able to match.
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