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"Depending on the offense, forgiveness might need to be done time and time again until we feel the gates of that prison open and we can start to enjoy the freedom we are offering to ourselves."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 212.
One of the most common misconceptions about forgiveness is that it only takes one time to make forgiveness work in our lives. Sure, there those lucky people who seem to be able to simply put hurtful things behind them in one fell swoop. Believe me, that's the exception not the rule.
So many of us give up on the process of forgiveness before the process comes to an end. That's right, forgiveness is a process. Why it can't always be a once and done kind of thing I just don't know. The reality is that forgiveness often takes time. The time that forgiveness takes requires that we forgive over and over again. God isn't judging how quickly we go through the process when it comes to forgiveness. He is looking for people who are willing to do what it takes to taste the freedom forgiveness offers.
I don't know if you know this or not, but peace can't coexist with bitterness that comes from resentment. Want proof of that fact? Close your eyes and think of the face of the last person who offended you so badly. How do you feel when you see that person's face? If you are like me, there is a tenseness inside that just wants to explode into anger. This reaction is just from imagining someone's face! Imagine what would happen if you had to deal with this offender in person!
That feeling is what I believe can be attributed to lack of peace. You see, that person who's face made your blood boil has a control on you. That control has come through resentment and maybe even bitterness. As long as that is allowed to linger, peace can never be something you can count on.
The antidote needed when bitterness and resentment chases away your peace is forgiveness. We need copious doses of forgiveness in our lives to cut off the roots of bitterness that threaten to choke out the peace God has for us. Like I said earlier, it is the lucky person who can forgive once and be done with it. It does happen, but I haven't found that to be the case in my life as of yet.
I'm one of those who has to forgive over and over again. There are times where I am saying over and over again, in my head, "I forgive you, I forgive you!" I say it until I feel my peace coming back again and then I say it again.
I want peace more than I want to hold a grudge against that jerk that offended me. Being offended does nothing but drive that peace from my life. I use to want to hold a grudge. I use to want to retaliate in ways that would hurt my offender the way they had hurt me. Now I just want peace.
Sure I entertain the thoughts of holding a grudge or getting even. When I'm stuck in that kind of victim thinking, I remember the prison I'm about to lock myself up in. Offense, resentment, bitterness are all jail cells of our own making. The offender doesn't hold the power that comes with the peace of freedom. We do. That power is exercised when we choose to forgive. Stepping completely into the light of that freedom often takes concerted and repeated times of forgiveness.
Forgiveness is not only required when others offend us, there is someone else we need to forgive in order to step into the peace God has for our lives. One of the most important people we need to forgive is ourselves. That's right. We need to offer ourselves the grace of forgiveness before peace can really come our way.
Maybe it is the decisions that you made to get you to where you are right now in life. Maybe is was the hurtful words you said to a loved one a long time ago. Maybe is was how selfish you have been with those you love deeply. Maybe it is your failure to be present for those who look up to you. Whatever it is, we have done and said, as well as having not done and not said, there is a lot in our lives that we need to forgive ourselves of.
How do you forgive yourself? It is just like forgiving someone else. You simply say, "I forgive you." You might want to stand in front of a mirror and look yourself in the eye as you say these words. You will probably need to say them over and over again.
Check out today's Bible reading with me now.
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity. Luke 6:37-38 (MSG)
It is obvious today's reading is talking about us acting a certain way towards others who might have offended us. I'd like to look at today's reading in first person. In other words, I want you to consider what today's reading is saying with regards to how you treat yourself.
God is saying through Luke that we shouldn't pick on ourselves. We aren't to get all up in arms about our failures. We aren't to criticize our faults. When you are down, that's not the time to be hard on yourself. We are to be easy on ourselves. We are to give ourselves some slack. That's the bonus and blessing God has done for us - shouldn't we also extend ourselves that same courtesy?
That's what forgiveness does when we forgive ourselves. We open the door to the blessing of peace. We let ourselves free to enjoy the peace God has made available for us. Holding onto the hurts that we have caused our self does nothing but make peace that much harder to connect with in the world where we live.
God is a god of forgiveness. He is a God of second chance. We were created in His image. We too, should be a people of forgiveness and second chance. This is particularly the case when it comes to ourselves. I wish I was as good at forgiveness as God is. Maybe I will be some day. In the meantime, all I can do is practice, practice and practice. The more I forgive, the more I think peace will be a part of the victor lifestyle God has laid out before me.
Take time today to forgive. Do it over and over again. Start with your self and go from there. Don't worry if you don't believe you have forgiven at first. The more you forgive, the more you might actually believe you have completely forgiven. It doesn't really matter if you believe or not. Taking steps to forgive gets you into a position where God can bless you with peace. Make forgiveness be something that unleashes the riches of heaven in your life today.
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