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"Victims are trapped in a viscous cycle of trying to live up to impossible standards."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 60.
When I mention impossible standards, it is so easy to think of those standards others have put on us. Our family of origin. Our church. Our bosses, Our spouses. There are times when even those the most close to us can have expectations that make standards something almost impossible to ever meet. Bad thing is that almost every standard we have for ourselves is just as impossible to meet when we are the judge of living up to that standard.
For the vast majority of us, we are our own worst critics. I can't tell you how many times someone has paid me a compliment that I easily shrug off because I just don't believe that they are right. My standards for what they are complimenting me on are so much higher than theirs must obviously be. I don't know why I can't see my life like others seem to be able to see it. I can't help but to believe that I have made my standards of excellence something that no one will ever be able to achieve.
I'm beginning to think that it isn't because we aren't good enough when it comes to our standards. I'm beginning to think that it is because we can't maintain our standards consistently that brings doubt to our judgement. Whether my standards include being a good dad, a good provider or a good mate to my spouse, it is consistency that troubles me more than ability. Let me explain that a bit more.
You see, there have been times when I have no doubt that I was a good dad. Same goes for being a provider and husband. That's not what trips me up. It is that there also those glaringly obvious times when I haven't been able to raise up to my standards in these important areas. Even if I messed up only once, my judgement of myself it tainted to the point where doubt can really rule the day. That's the place victim thinking likes to take over.
No, it isn't the standard that is the problem. It is my ability to consistently maintain that standard that gets me into trouble. Want to know something? I believe this fact is such a God thing it isn't even funny.
You see, that feeling of not being able to maintain my standards is exactly why Jesus is so important in my life. Perfection is required in order for me to relate to this God that loves me. There are times when I might be able to say that perfection was the result of what I did. But then there are those times when perfection was the furthest thing from my actions. It is those times I failed to achieve the standards that make me doubt my ability to ever meet the standards of this all powerful God.
God knew that's how we would be in this fallen world. We just can't maintain the ability to operate at perfect levels for very long. Our failure at being perfect makes us doubt who we are and that ushers in victim thinking in ways that cause pain and suffering all around us. God's answer was for us to be seen perfect through a perfect being like His son. In other words, my standards mean nothing when I trust the ability of a perfectly suited being to meet all the standards I need to relate to this God of mine. What an amazingly unselfish and freedom making plan.
Check out today's reading in light of our efforts to get to rise to some level of standard in our lives.
Listen, Heavens, I have something to tell you.
Attention, Earth, I’ve got a mouth full of words.
My teaching, let it fall like a gentle rain,
my words arrive like morning dew,
Like a sprinkling rain on new grass,
like spring showers on the garden.
For it’s God’s Name I’m preaching—
respond to the greatness of our God!
The Rock: His works are perfect,
and the way he works is fair and just;
A God you can depend upon, no exceptions,
a straight-arrow God. Deuteronomy 32:1-4 (MSG)
Like a sprinkling rain. God's ways aren't destructive. They aren't something that tears us down. They are like a mist that soaks deep to the root. He is the rock. We can lean on what He says about us and take it as the truth. Our standards don't mean a thing. It is what He says about us that makes it possible to be the victor we want to live as in this life. It is when we trust in what He says about us that our actions take on a power to make change in ways that rise to His standards in this world.
It is that God thinks the world of you that makes who you are have meaning. It is that God sees you as His child that makes your standards useless to try and make happen and maintain. It is that God loves you that makes it possible to live feeling like a victim and and experience life as a victor. It is impossible to make this happen simply relying on our standards of living. It is only though God's view of us that we have the power to throw off victim thinking and take on victor living.
Don't let your standards be how you judge your actions. Let God's view of you be all the standard you need to make victor living something attainable in your life today.
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