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"Victims have been trained by this world to grab for all they can and be sure no one takes more from them than they deserve to receive. Who is the judge of how much is enough to give out? The victim thinker."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 125.
In the 70's a beer company use to have a series of TV commercials that had a line something like this. "You only go around once in this world so why not grab for all the gusto you can?" Even for something as mundane as selling beer, ad agencies work to appeal to our victim thinking ways to help their product get noticed. Amazing thing is, that strategy works!
We have been conditioned to grab for all we can. After all, can we trust that there will be enough to go around when so much is required from this world to satisfy our growing appetites for stuff? That's a victim thinker's way of approaching the world that does nothing but spawn victims all around them.
This is especially the case with whatever it is that we find in this world that makes our lives be in that place where we are OK with who we are. You know what I mean by that, don't you? Aren't there times in your life where everything just seems to be good? I don't know about you, but when those times are there I will do almost anything to make them stay that way. As those times change, I find myself grabbing for more of what I think will make those times last.
Amazing thing about this life and a life with God is that EVERYTHING changes. Good times change. So do the bad. Unfortunately, we aren't all that good at dealing with the ramifications to change. Even when things are changing for the better, victim thinking can make it so that we grab for all we can to make the status quo be more of what we have, even when what we have falls so far short of what is to come.
I came across an interesting quote that made me think recently. In his book, Beyond Sundays by Wayne Jacobsen, the following statement really caught my attention. Mr Jacobsen said,
"He (meaning God) has to reshape internally the ways you were taught to live—twisted by indulging your desires, haunted by the insecurities of not knowing you were loved, exploited by the selfishness of others, or manipulated by the lies and fears of religious obligation." There is so much in that statement that we need to unpack.
The author was making a point about the status quo that I think those of us wanting to live this life as the victors we would like to be, need to take to heart. You see, I don't believe where we are right now holds a candle to where God is taking us in the future. I don't care how great your times are right this moment, they are but a poor reflection of the amazing times that are to come. It is as we jealously guard this moment, and grab for all we can because of the fear of the next, that victim thinking takes root in our lives.
I love what Mr. Jacobsen said about God's work in our lives. He is reshaping us from the inside out. When I think of the implication of that I come to realize what a big job God has in order for that reshaping to happen. No wonder it takes so long to transform us from where we are today to where He knows we will be in the future. If God reshaped all that needed changing in our lives, at one time, it would kill us! Step by step, God is changing those things in us that once defined us but now are holding us back from the victor's life He has called us to.
That's why it can feel so disconcerting, this life we lead. When we are in the middle of the kinds of changes God does in our lives that life can feel so strange. On one had we want to grab for all we can to try and hold on to what we know all too well. It doesn't matter that what we know is killing us. Even if we have come that conclusion, we still grab for anything to hold onto as we try and maintain the status quo.
Then there's the other side to this middle ground of change. We know we are going somewhere but, darn if we know where or what it will look like when we get there. I have to tell you, there is a lot of fear in that place of the unknown. With all this reshaping, what will life look like when God is done? Will I even like who I am as God changes me from the inside out? The fear of the unknown is a terrible thing to deal with. When it comes to our identity, fear of the unknown can be just about too much to bare.
Our reading from the Bible is a pretty familiar one to many of us. It says,
There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18 (ESV)
So much of what I fear in my life comes as I consider what love might look like in light of what I think I need at that moment. If I'm stuck in a place where I find it necessary to lean on particular coping mechanisms that might not rise to the level of perfection of a perfect God, fear comes in knowing that God might change me in ways that those coping skills won't work in the future. That's a scary place to be. Looking ahead from where I am now, that seems like punishment. To take away what gives me comfort doesn't seem like love to me.
That's why God's shaping is from the inside out. That's why His shaping takes time. He slowly infuses His love in us in ways that help us to see fear for what it is worth. Fear about the future based on God's love for us now is grabbing for all we can to try and make today stay the same even though we know change is a coming.
We have a lot in our lives that need to be unlearned. There are a lot of insecurities that haunt our lives. The selfishness of others has matched up with our own selfish ways that has made it possible for us to be used in hurtful ways. The well meaning Church has allowed a level of damage to occur in our lives through the rigors of obligation. All this makes it so that victim thinking can slip into our lives. When it does we tend to grab for all we can, hoping that the goodness of this moment won't be overshadowed by the fear of what might come.
Perfect love drives out that fear. As the victor you are, that love is in you. It is hard at work, reshaping who you are and who this world will see you to be in the next moment. Let that love do its work. Stop grabbing for all this life has to offer as the fix to the uncertainty you feel right now. Take another breath and let God's amazing love make you more of the victor you long to be.
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