Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.
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"When we are surrounded by good things we can take God for granted. We can begin to think that it is God’s responsibility to be good to us."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 93.
I saw a quote recently from someone in a twelve step program. It said, "Expectations are resentments waiting to happen." What an amazing truth. Victors need to really take this quote to heart. It is when we are in a place where resentment is what we feel, that victim thinking takes root and grows.
Expectations are such challenging things to manage in the life of a victor. On one hand, we want to be in a place where we are looking forward to the good things that might come our way. On the other hand, it is when we rely on what might be, to help bring the fulfillment we so need in this world, that resentment is possible if our expectations aren't met.
Expectations are a killer to a thriving communion between people. The same can be said for a relationship with God. When we see God as someone who has let us down, as far as what we expected from Him is concerned, that resentment enters the picture. When resentment settles in deep into our lives, it is so easy to let relationship play less and less a role in all we do. Weak relationships from a worldly perspective is a sad way to live life. When we have a weak relationship with our God, we experience the results of a crippled ability to live this life as a victor.
I came across something that caught my attention regarding expectations and resentment. Clifford N Lazarus Ph.D. wrote an article in Psychology Today called "Three Expectations Typical of Unhappy People." As I read through this article, I couldn't help but to see the pit falls of victim thinking lurking behind each of these expectations.
Dr. Lazarus states that the demands of typically unhappy people fall into three categories. The first demand is that the person must do well in their world. The second demand is that others will treat them well. Finally, the third demand of typically unhappy people is that they should never have to deal with hardships. Dr. Lazarus goes into details of how people can take these demands to an extreme. It is in those extreme places of demand that expectations give rise to resentment in a person's live.
Harold Herring wrote an article online called, "7 Things We Can Expect From God...Plus 2". In his article he says that we can expect the following, Presence, Peace, Protection, Promises, Power, Promotion and Provision. Now that's a list of things I'd like to see more in my life, wouldn't you?
There is nothing wrong with knowing that God wants to provide these amazing things to us. See, being expectant is a trait we all need to exercise in our lives. It is when we take those things that we are being expectant over and turn them into expectations that resentment and eventually victim thinking forms in our lives.
See, being expectant is a good thing. It is when we are expectant that we have hope and look forward to what may come. Expectations are totally different than being expectant. Expectations are the tangible things we look for when we are expectant. Let me explain that with an example.
Let's say that you are out of work. Maybe it has been a long time since you last had a job. As a result, you might be at the end of the road as far as making ends meet are concerned. There are a couple of things on that list of what we can expect God for that really match up with your current need. In this situation, wouldn't it be nice to see God's Power and His Provision in your life? So far, we haven't run into any problems with the expectation to resentment connection. Let's take this example a little bit further and watch how problems arise.
Common sense says that the power you need from God is that He make a way for that exact right job opportunity to come along. Provision is just as easy to see in this situation. Provision sure does look like all your bills will somehow just get paid. God is totally capable of doing this and more. Problem is that we now have taken traits of God and turned them into demands to meet our expectations.
What if God's plan is such that His provision and power is seen in a totally different way? Aren't you going to feel hurt if your belief in the things we can be expectant for don't meet your expectations? Left in that place of hurt for too long and I guaranteed resentment and/or victim thinking will be the result.
We all will be in those situations where God' presence, peace, protection, promises, power, promotion and provision will be needed big time in our lives. What I hope to be able to do in those times is to temper my expectations and look for what God wants me to see when it comes to being expectant of Him. That's the only way I know that I will be able to live out this life as the victor God sees me to be.
What's the big deal with turning our being expectant into expectations? When we try to enforce our expectations on anyone we are placing ourselves in a position of dominance. It is like we are telling people, "You have to do this thing or else." When we do this with God we aren't letting God be God in our lives.
I want to close with a really difficult passage from the Bible. It is what victors need to get into their line of thinking if they want victor living to overwhelm victim thinking. Check out today's Bible reading with me now.
What then shall we say? Is God unjust? Not at all! For he says to Moses,
“I will have mercy on whom I have mercy,
and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.”
It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God’s mercy. Romans 9:14-16 (NIV)
It isn't that you don't deserve compassion or mercy. You are God's Child and compassion and mercy is all He has for you. It is that we don't have the right to tell God what His compassion and mercy is suppose to look like. When our needs form the basis for what we expect God to do for us resentment is bound to happen and relationship is so hard to maintain.
Want to experience all the things we have the right to be expectant of God for? My advice to you is, let God be God. Don't turn your needs into expectations. They are nothing more than veiled demands. Making demands of our God is a waste of time and sets us up for victim thinking. Ask, even plead for all you require from God and let what He provides be all you need to live in the power of your victor status today.
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