**********
A group of friends of mine met the other day and we had an amazing discussion. I wish our talks were recorded. The insights I get from these friends, as we do life together, are simply amazing. We don't have much figured out, but let me tell you, we are seeing God in ways that has made lasting change a possibility when it comes to keeping victim thinking out of our lives.
Our discussion this day centered on a chart that we had come across earlier in the month. Let me describe this chart for you. On the left side is a column of words like fear, destruction, isolation, insecurity, judgement and death. On the right side, lined up in direct opposition to each of the words I just read were the words, rest, restore, relationship, confidence, forgiveness and life. The left side of the chart were words used to describe Satan while the words on the right were words that describe Jesus. This chart was made to help us compare and contrast Satan's tactics from Jesus' in dealing with those of us in this world.
One of my friends drew a vertical line separating the left side from the right side of the chart. He said that at times he feels like he is straddling that line trying to balance life. As the negative thoughts come from the Satan's side of the ledger, my friend feels he has to balance it against what he knows to be true about himself. He then went on to have an eye opening experience. He really isn't straddling that divide - he simply chooses to cross over from the Jesus side to the Satan side as he entertains the various thoughts that come as a result of the circumstances in life.
That makes so much more sense to me than just straddling that line. We really aren't that good at balancing between good and bad. As I have talked about many times, we were never intended to be the determining factor when it comes to goodness or the badness that comes our way. My friend's realization that we come to this line as we drift from side to side on this chart is something that I think victors need to take into serious consideration.
As we continued our conversation, my friend said something that I'm still wrestling with in many ways. He said "We have to be willing to surrender, then we can look at what we believe." It just isn't enough to obtain a bunch of knowledge and to use that knowledge to come up with some belief system that we are willing to give a try. God wants us to surrender to the right side of this equation and then live in a place of belief that Jesus is all He says He is in our lives. For those analytical, proof driven and linear thinking kinds of people, like me, that is a hard pill to swallow.
Then a Bible verse popped into my head. Jesus encountered a man who really needed God's power in his life. Apparently this man's son was afflicted by an evil spirit that not only impacted this man's son's life, the spirit was actually working to try and kill the young boy at times. The man comes to Jesus and says,
"But if You can do anything, have compassion on us and help us."
Jesus said to him, “If you can believe, all things are possible to him who believes.”
Immediately the father of the child cried out and said with tears, “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:22-24 (NKJV)
This guy was talking to God Himself and dared to use the word "If". That alone should have eliminated this man from receiving anything from Jesus. After all, if he has so little faith, why would God want to do anything for this guy at all. I hope you see those words are nothing more than victim thinking coming out in ways that I know all too well. It is when we connect things like faith or belief or performance of any kind to who God sees us to be that we will end up in the throws of victim thinking.
Jesus answers the man's feeble statement of faith with the direction to believe. Then the man realizes that his belief might not be enough. Tearfully, he cries out to Jesus and says, "I believe, help me with my unbelief..."
I so relate to this man. Don't you? You see, I believe too, but I also am filled with so much unbelief. Looking at those words on the chart I see places where God has taken me on an amazing journey of progress in being able to live on the side of believing Jesus. There are other words on that list that I need a lot of help with. As usual, with God, it isn’t about how well we are doing in it all, it is about how much He is allowed to be part of the process. Here's an example of what I'm talking about.
I feel like God has helped me in my belief in relationship. In the past, life's circumstances has made it possible for me to really despise the idea of relationship. In many ways, I have always been kind of a loner. Isolation works really well for me as a strategy at times. I can remember conversations where I have actually said that I hate relationship. For those of you who know me, those statements might seem kind of shocking. But, I have to tell you, they are true. God has done a miracle in making relationships something I crave in my life today. Sure, I still would rather be alone at times, but am living a relational life because God has shown me the power that results when I allow others to be a part my life and as I earn the right to be a part of the lives of others.
On the other side of the equation is the word fear. That tactic of Satan's that is combated by Jesus with the word rest. I still need a lot of help with my unbelief over the word rest. I face fear by getting busy. Rest is a four letter word to me when it comes to battling fear in my life. I live by the rule that rest means inactivity. Inactivity makes accomplishment impossible. That takes me to the belief that without accomplishment, I can't be loved. When it comes to the fear/rest equation, I believe, but, Lord help me with my unbelief.
The victor needs to know that the power that results in surrendering to belief isn't exclusively there when we come to a place of being 100% committed to our belief. God's power is there when we come to a place of wanting to believe but need so much help in overcoming our unbelief. That power is there because it is in that place of need for God's help that the amazing power of God becomes something that comes our way.
It is definitely a step by step process. It is a dimmer switch kind of progression. Slowly the light is coming on. But, like any light, even the smallest and dimmest light makes darkness flee. The help God is providing in my unbelief is making the dimmer switch move more fully into the on position. Thank God he doesn’t expect an on/off kind of change. I would be doomed because that just isn’t in the cards for me as far as I can see God’s plan for my life. I’m beginning to love that fact. It is the journey with God that makes the time He spends with me showing me the ins and outs of love and rest that make the time it takes to get to where God is leading something that I wouldn’t trade for the world.
Maybe I am more surrendered than I give myself credit for. I do believe! God help me with my unbelief! Such a powerful way to live. This makes it possible to allow God to be God, even in the things that we both know desperately need changing in my life. When it comes to fear, I want the rest of God to be what drives me into a deeper and deeper understanding of the love He has for me. That's the only way I will ever be able to live out the victor status He has made possible for me to have.
I want that rest in my life - a rest that comes with contentment. I want to believe more and more that, when it comes to my life, it is OK! I’m OK with God. That kind of rest makes love something more believable. Thank you God that you don't wait until I am 100% surrendered to belief in Jesus' attributes before your power comes. Thank you that you are training me to live in rest and love. Thank you that your rest and love are filled with action and power. Thank you for this moment in life!
No comments:
Post a Comment