Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.
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"Victim thinkers give in to the lie that they have no choice. We always have choice. The fact that the choices we have aren’t always what we want them to be is when we are tempted to believe that we somehow just don’t measure up, and we start to think like a victim."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 186.
Our quote today is such an important one for victors to get into their lives. We always have choices. It isn't the lack of choices that make life hard to deal with. It is the fact that the choices we have aren't always what we want for our lives. When we use the words, "have to" to describe tasks in our lives, we are telling our souls that we have no choice. The soul is quick to believe that lie and will do all it can to rebel against what we are doing so that choice comes back in as a possibility we can entertain.
I'm so glad my soul is fighting for my freedom. The soul is a powerful ally in the battles we face in life. I know this sounds so formula driven, but when we use words like "have to" to describe everyday tasks, we are setting up our soul for battle in ways that aren't needed for our protection. "Have to" living makes it hard for our soul to distinguish between real threats and those things that we have labeled in a way that makes our soul think a threat is coming.
When I say, "I have go go meet my wife.", my soul gets conflicted. It knows that the relationship with my wife has been a freeing and powerful place of healing. Yet the words I use to describe meeting with my wife imply an element of being trapped through obligation that the soul hates. I believe my words make it possible for my soul to mistakenly see my relationship with my wife a threat. In doing so, it then looks for and highlights every misstep my wife makes in ways that breed discontent and division. I know this sounds overly simple, but I believe words have power. Words like "have to" make it possible for us to give in to victim thinking strategies that make relationships, so difficult to maintain.
Here's what the Bible says about the power of our words.
Words satisfy the mind as much as fruit does the stomach;
good talk is as gratifying as a good harvest.
Words kill, words give life;
they’re either poison or fruit—you choose. Proverbs 18:20-21 (MSG)
Good words do good things in our life. They are fresh and sweet like that perfectly ripe fruit we all love to enjoy. Good words gratify - they can give life. Bad news is that words can kill. The author of our reading today says that words are either a poison or a fruit. How words work in our life is completely up to us. Life or death, good or bad, poison or fruit - how we choose to use our words makes all the difference in the world. This is particularly the case when we use words like "have to" in our lives.
I found it interesting that the very next verse from our reading today deals with marriage. It says...
Find a good spouse, you find a good life—
and even more: the favor of God! Proverbs 18:22 (MSG)
Happy wife, happy life - a saying that is used a lot these days. My example of "having to meet my wife" seems extremely appropriate as words and relationships are connected in our reading. I need the full power of my soul to make any relationship all it can be, especially the relationship called marriage. Setting my soul up for confusion over what is threatening my freedom isn't something beneficial when it comes to letting words empower important relationships in my life.
Our tongues can be a play a powerful role in making life be all it can be or in poisoning the goodness that abounds in and around us. Listen carefully to how you use the words "have to". When you hear yourself using them to describe tasks in your life ask this question, "Do I really believe I have no choice but to do what I 'have to" do today?"
If you think that you have no choice, do one more thing for me. Face that statement square on and challenge it completely. You do have choice. There isn't a single thing that is on your to-do list today that you absolutely need to do. Sure, choosing to not do what is on your list could result in some pretty crumby results. Bad results is such a different beast altogether when it comes to lack of choice as far as the soul is concerned. Getting the soul fired up to fight lack of choice is a waste of time when we need the amazing power of the soul to help us with making our outcome different than what we think it will be. Our words help the soul define our situation and put the power of the will, intellect and emotions into play. Help your soul and use the right words for the right circumstance in life today.
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