Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.
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"But that doesn’t stop me from trying to find formulas to help me get what I WANT out of God in this life. That’s what a formula in relationship to God is all about. It’s a statement of demand that goes something like this: 'God if I do this, then you HAVE to do that.'"
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 42.
It’s the demanding spirit that makes it possible for victors to move into the dangerous territory of victim thinking. The demanding spirit is what we exhibit when we believe that our needs are more important than what it takes for us to have meaningful relationships in our lives. This is particularly the case when our demanding spirit attempts to make God do what we want Him to do in our lives.
In an effort to take any control we can get in maintaining our good life, we get focused on the reward of doing. This is such a dangerous place for the victor to live. When our focus is on the wrong prize, we get confused. It is that confusion that can enable us to get to where our needs can move us into a place of demand. The demanding victor is doomed to victim thinking at some point in their life.
Today, we have a pretty simple Bible verse to consider.
They willfully put God to the test by demanding the food they craved. Psalm 78:18 (NIV)
The Nation of Israel was stuck in victim mode. Though they had been miraculously rescued from slavery, they were not satisfied with what God was providing as they moved into their promised land. Though God was making food appear for them on a daily basis, they wanted more. Discontent turned to grumbling which turned to demand. Demand always leads to broken relationships. It wasn’t that God abandoned the Israelites; No, the Israelites were on the verge of abandoning God.
The victim thinker living with a demanding spirit will find relationship a very difficult thing to maintain. Relationship with those closest to them will be strained by the demands for the victim thinker’s good life. The very people, including God, who could do the most to help the victim thinker come back to victor living are shut out by the drone of complaints coming from a demanding heart.
The demanding spirit is usually accompanied by an over dependence on formulas. It is the "If I do this then you must do that" kind of approach to relationship that turns a person's needs into demands. When those demands aren't met, the one who has created the formula feels cheated. After all, they upheld their end of the bargain - isn't it only fair that the other person act as the formula commands?
Formulas really don't work when relationship is concerned. That doesn't stop us from trying to make them a part of our connections. Sadly, more relationships have been lost to formula living than just about anything else I can think of. God isn't a big fan of formulas. We shouldn't be either, particularly when relationship is the issues.
If you are seeing challenges in your relationships, particularly your relationship with God, maybe your victim thinking is being fueled by the cries from a demanding spirit. Take a close look at your expectations of others and of God Himself. If you are making demands based on a quid pro quo kind of life, victim thinking is sure to come your way. You are a victor. Your identity is secured. Don’t let the needs of life rob you from the fullness that God has for you as His child.
Make today all about living freely. That freedom comes when you let God be God with all you come into contact with today. Let the fact that He sees you as His victor be all you need to power through your day with as the kinds of Kingdom Building opportunities that only a Child of God could experience.
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