I was talking with a friend of mine the other day and I heard myself say this quote.
"Humility turns to pride when we choose to believe something about ourselves other than what God says about us."
I felt that this quote had a level of inspiration to it. For that reason I wanted to have today's presentation be about humility and pride.
I have often thought that humility and pride were polar opposites. Although that can be the case, humility and pride can really work hand in hand in ways that might come as a bit of a surprise. Humility and pride are connected in some pretty amazing ways when humility is mixed with victim thinking.
It is when we are trapped in victim thinking that we can take on an attitude with humility that really is pride disguised in ways to help us in our victim thinking ways. I have seen people that would absolutely use the word humility to describe their actions when in fact victim thinking is making it so that they are applying a false humility in their lives that is such a killer to relationships.
One such example of this is the self described martyr. You know who I'm talking about. This is the person that will push you out of the way to take the worse seat in the house. They are the ones that will give up their last fork full of food or will surrender their own comfort in ways that could be mistaken for humility. Problem is that these same people might be the first to let you know - either by their words or by their actions - just how humble they really are.
The victim thinker who takes on an appearance of being selfless while exhibiting attitudes and actions designed to gain attention and praise is exactly the person that fits my quote mentioned earlier. This seemingly humble person has bought into a lie about their identity and uses what should be truly selfless actions to help build an identity that is better than nothing at all. Humility turns to pride when we choose to believe something about ourselves other than what God says about us.
Solomon is a very interesting character in the Bible. He is considered to be the richest man to have ever lived. Not only was Solomon rich, he had a wisdom about him that is something to behold. He wrote a book of the Bible called Ecclesiastes. This book enabled Solomon to share some of his wisdom about life as he was nearing the end of his. Today's reading is from Ecclesiastes. It says...
I have seen everything in my days of vanity: There is a just man who perishes in his righteousness, And there is a wicked man who prolongs life in his wickedness. Do not be overly righteous, Nor be overly wise: Why should you destroy yourself? Do not be overly wicked, Nor be foolish: Why should you die before your time? It is good that you grasp this, And also not remove your hand from the other; For he who fears God will escape them all. Ecclesiastes 7:15-18 (NKJV)
Solomon starts off today's reading with what can sound like a pride filled statement. He says, "I have seen everything..." I use to think less about Solomon because of these kinds of statements throughout the book of Ecclesiastes. What I have since come to appreciate is that Solomon has really seen a lot. With the amount of money, power, and prestige this one man had, I think he had every opportunity to try things that the rest of us might never get a chance to experience.
I also appreciate the Book of Ecclesiastes because I have come to realize what Solomon was doing in this work. He was sharing how useless his own victim thinking techniques were at coping with life when things don't turn out the way he'd like them to. Keep in mind, Solomon had more money than any man alive today. His household included 700 wives and 300 concubines. He was famous all over the world - His name was known by leaders from countries far and wide. If money or power or significance or sex or any of a number of other coping mechanisms would have had any hopes of working in the life of a human being they would have worked in the life of Solomon.
But, they didn't! Ecclesiastes is a book that sounds like it was written by a man teetering on the brink of clinical depression. I believe it was. Solomon had to have been on the edge of depression knowing that all his power, all his positions, all his vices, all his prestige - it all meant nothing as far as identity is concerned. Sure it is nice to have all these things for a while but Solomon is a shining example of how the temporary things of this world just don't cut it when identity is concerned.
What I like about today's reading is how it calls out those of us using false humility as a coping mechanism when we are caught in victim thinking. Solomon basically says it is foolish to be a martyr if you are being a martyr for identity building purposes. This, just like pride is nothing more than vanity, and as Solomon says over and over again, vanity is like chasing the wind. It is a waste of time.
I couldn't agree more. Doing things to feel good about ourselves is a perfect example of how pride can come alive in our lives. Pride as a strategy to feel good about ourselves is a chasing after the wind. Using humility as a strategy to help bolster our identity is also an example of the vain ways we apply to try and figure out who we are so that we can feel better about ourselves. Unfortunately anything we turn to in this world for identity building purposes will ultimately prove themselves to be examples of vanity. Solomon backs this statement up with example after example in the Book of Ecclesiastes.
It all comes down to this. False humility isn't humility at all. It is pride. God hates pride! Now, hear this loud and clear - He doesn't hate the one stuck in victim thinking using pride of one kind or another to build their identity. He hates the pride filled ways we will turn to. They distract us from Him and, for whatever reason, He wants to be with us as much as He possibly can. Thank God for His relationship driven love. Without it we would be stuck chasing the wind in ways that Solomon might know all too well.
The answer to all this is to turn to God. Lean on Him as you have doubts about who you are. When things don't go your way, let God's presence be all the blessing you need to move out in a different direction in life. Don't let this world trick you into believing something other that what God says about you. It is when we stand firm in who God says we are that pride gets destroyed and we begin living the humble life as the victor God has called us to be.
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