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"I have to ask myself, how many people in this world are living a life filled with sadness and despair because their idea of destiny hasn’t panned out the way they thought it would?"
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 189.
I have known ultra-successful men to destroy their lives over the feelings that they aren't fully living in the completeness of their destiny. I have seen perfectly suited marriages crumble over this fact. I have seen people toss away amazingly successful business entities over the feeling of emptiness that comes with destiny's falling short of where we want them to be. I have seen lives crushed over the realization that the life they expected might not be something that they will ever realize. How sad!
For men, this kind of feeling tends to sink in when we hit our early 40's. That feeling has been labeled with the iniquitous term "MidLife Crisis." Much study has been done over this issue and many books have been written to try and help us gain a perspective on what this time of life is all about. All I know is that so much of what we go through as we move from one phase of life to another has incredible impact on our ability to live the life of a victor God has called us to.
What is this midlife crisis all about? I came across this quote that really summarizes some of the feelings I came against in what might have been my mid-life crisis. It says, "Midlife is when you reach the top of the ladder and realize that it was against the wrong wall."
I can now chuckle at the futility of working so hard to get to the top of something only to find that what I have arrived at isn't where I thought I was going at all. I have to tell you that when I reached the top of that ladder and saw what I saw, it was no laughing matter. The total disappointment and realization how hard it was to get to that place of disappointment almost made it possible to give completely up on life all together.
That's what disappointment over our destiny's can do to us when so much of our identities are tied into achieving that destiny. Identity is so much more than something we can connect worldly thoughts or actions to. Identity is a quality that is God determined, God communicated and God measured. Any place we inject our thoughts or actions into the God driven process is where we will find disappointment and ultimately victim thinking.
We are climbing up the wrong wall when we think that destiny will ever do anything when it comes to our identity. All the effort at getting to the top of that space will be something we view as wasted and unproductive when midlife times hit. I believe this is the basis upon which so much of the sadness exhibited in broken marriages, broken lives and broken relationships stems from.
God has such a different plan. Check out today's Bible reading with me now.
There is surely a future hope for you, and your hope will not be cut off. Proverbs 23:18 (NIV)
I believe so much of the sadness of not reaching a destiny results from one important word from our reading today. Hope, or better stated, lack thereof is what makes those of us facing midlife challenges something that can make our victor status so hard to believe. Getting to the top of that ladder and realizing we are on the wrong wall is such a hopeless situation. Why is that such a hope draining process?
I believe that hope is challenged in midlife crisis times for two reasons. First of all we are mourning all the effort placed at climbing the wrong wall. "How could I have been so stupid to have not realized that all the work I have been done was going to be done for nothing?" So many of our midlife challenges with destiny come at the hands of identity crushing thoughts like that I just stated. Wasting time and feeling stupid are both thoughts that come directly against the identity God has given us. It is when we feel like we have wasted time that we think we will be cut off from a future and despair can't help but to sink in. Victim thinking loves to take control when despair is in our lives.
The second reason I think midlife crisis times hit is that we are coming to realize that we don't have too many years left to make our destiny happen. Standing on the top of that ladder on the wrong wall gives a perspective of life that makes us realize that the time we have left is short. Worse than that, we are coming to realize that the energy we have left might not be enough to make the destiny we so completely missed up to this point, a possibility in our lives. Very little ushers in the life crushing effects of victim thinking more than the likelihood that we don't have what it takes to make what we need happen.
That's why destiny has to be viewed from God's perspective. You see, there is no wasted time in the eyes of God. Even all the efforts spent climbing the ladder up the wrong wall isn't viewed as wasted by God. God will use the evil and wrong in this world to make a good happen in ways that bring amazing glory to His name.
Just is true is the fact that our energy isn't something God needs to make happen the destiny He has prepared for our lives. You see, it is in our weaknesses that He is seen as strong. Time after time in the Bible, God waits until our resources are at their lowest before He moves the mightiest through our lives. Maybe you needed to climb the wrong wall so that your energy would be sufficiently expended so that God's power would be what you rely on to get up the right wall in your life.
If you are feeling low about where you are in life right now, go back and reread Proverbs 23:18. Two powerful promises are there for us all. One, we have hope. Secondly, we will not be cut off. This is absolutely the case when it comes to destiny in your life - God has made hope for you and you will not be cut off.
As you go through your day today, let the fact that you are God's Child be all the destiny you need in life. Focusing on anything else is akin to climbing the wrong wall. God has so much more for your future than you can see from on top of the ladder you find yourself on now. Let His view of destiny be what overwhelms the crisis of identity that this world will throw at you from time to time.
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