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"Corruption is nothing more than a natural means of self-defense."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 69.
It is when we are in a place of having to defend ourselves or our position that we might be lead to do things that could be considered corrupt. I can't tell you how many times I have said things to those I love that have hurt them deeply all out of my feeling like I needed to defend myself. I'm starting to believe that being defensive is nothing more than a symptom of victim thinking acting out in my life.
Being defensive is actually a type of aggression that is studied widely in humans. In its worst form, defensive aggression can lead to some serious situations where people can be physically hurt by those who are placed in a position where they feel they must defend themselves. I'm not so worried about the extremes of defensive aggression as part of this presentation. It is when I feel I must defend myself that I believe the victim to victor discussion really comes into clarity in my life.
I can't think of a single time when I have become defensive that it wasn't over an issue directly tied to identity. Crazy thing is is that those closest to us seem to be able to say just the right thing at just the right time to put us in a place where we find it so easy to assume a defensive posture.
You know what I mean. Isn't your spouse an expert at pushing just the right buttons that make you feel like you need to respond in a way that can only be described as being defensive? Guess what, you are that way to your spouse as well. In the vast majority of the cases where our close loved ones have set us off, it wasn't done intentionally. They might have just been making a simple statement but what we heard was nothing short of a full fledged attack on who we are. There are few things that set us off like an attack on our identity.
What I'm learning in my life is that the better I am at accepting who God says I am the fewer the times I feel compelled to defend myself. Thankfully that is particularly the case with my wife. It is when I'm doubting who I am because of a challenging time in my life that I can jump to being defensive in relationship crushing ways.
Today's Bible reading really hits it on the head when it comes to being defensive. It says,
Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.” Romans 12:19 (MSG)
The only way I know that I can live out this verse as fully as I can is to get to know who God says He has made me to be. I've been on a journey for the past ten plus years discovering what it looks like to be a Child of God. It has been a wild and eye opening journey. I feel like I have but scratched the surface on the subject. There is so much to learn.
The benefit of being on this journey is that I am more comfortable with myself than I have ever been before. Things loved ones would say to me ten years ago that would set me off just don't have the same affect today as they use to. Maybe some of that change comes with maturity. All I know is that the better I am at believing who God says I am the less defensive I feel like I need to be.
Sure there are times when we need to take a stand against the evil that speaks badly of good people in the world. I'm in no way saying that kind of defensiveness is inappropriate. It is when we feel that the very core of who we are is being attacked, particularly by those close to us is concerned, that we need to do a little self evaluation before we step fully into self defense mode.
That evaluation needs to begin with the question, "Do I really believe that I am who God says I am?" If you believe that you are the victor God says you are then you need to ask another question. That question goes something like this, "Why did what this person say to me make me doubt what God says about my life?" The answer to that question will be a whole lot about you and will have very little to do with the person who said whatever it was that set you off in the first place.
Today is a new day. Defensiveness doesn't have to play the negative role it has so many times in the past in your life. Let the words God has spoken over your life be what makes it possible for your victor status be what shines through when something is said to you that makes defensiveness a possibility. God has said who you are. The words of this world can't ever come against God's word for you. Live in the freedom and power of being God's child and fight off the temptation to be defensive today.
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