Thoughts
that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking
Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to
the audio file.
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“What people fail to realize is that no one can make me feel like anything; I have to choose to feel that way.”
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 11.
The words, “You made me feel…” simply don’t belong together. It’s like saying; “My sports car made me get a ticket because it is so fast.” Really? The car made you break the speed limit? Is that really true? No, the ticket came when I chose to let that sports car do what it was made to do. It’s my fault, not the cars. That’s the issue when it comes to victim thinking that results from feelings being hurt; I don’t want to take any responsibility for the blame when it comes to my feelings.
I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. Blame is the central sources to feelings being hurt and my reactions to those hurt feelings. Of course there are those haters out there who are going to want to tear you down and will use their carefully chosen words to do so. Those people are filled with victim thinking and want you to be so as well. The hurt that comes when those people work to tear you down is an entirely different circumstance that has little to do with whether I’m a victim thinker or someone living like a victor. Blame is appropriately placed on those haters when they use their words to tear us down.
I’m more focused on those people, who have my best interest at heart, who have said something that hurt my feelings. Victors have learned that hurt feelings come by choice when those feelings are the result of a loved one saying something that has brought pain into their lives. In most of these situations the words spoken that have resulted in some negative feelings came about because of what is going on in me, not what is going on in someone else.
Take a look at today’s Bible reading;
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)
Placing my focus on the words of someone else to assign blame when my feelings get hurt misses the mark. Fear of man is epitomized by caring what others think. Trusting God means that the victor trusts what God says about him or her. The victor is God’s beloved. He or she is God’s heir, an adopted child chosen and loved by a Father who created the victor in the first place. Anytime words from a loved one, who has my best interest at heart, bring a stinging feeling in my life, I need to look at myself when it comes to allocating blame. What part of my trust in who God says I am am I allowing to be challenged by the words I heard?
Today, listen closely to the words you hear and watch for your reaction. Hurt feelings are typically a sign that the victor has gotten his or her focus wrong. Preoccupation with the horizontal is a victim thinking playground. Our vertical relationship with God is what makes it possible for you and me to live like a victor. When the sting of offense comes from words today, remind yourself who you are in Christ and live the victor’s life every chance you get.
**********
“What people fail to realize is that no one can make me feel like anything; I have to choose to feel that way.”
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 11.
The words, “You made me feel…” simply don’t belong together. It’s like saying; “My sports car made me get a ticket because it is so fast.” Really? The car made you break the speed limit? Is that really true? No, the ticket came when I chose to let that sports car do what it was made to do. It’s my fault, not the cars. That’s the issue when it comes to victim thinking that results from feelings being hurt; I don’t want to take any responsibility for the blame when it comes to my feelings.
I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. Blame is the central sources to feelings being hurt and my reactions to those hurt feelings. Of course there are those haters out there who are going to want to tear you down and will use their carefully chosen words to do so. Those people are filled with victim thinking and want you to be so as well. The hurt that comes when those people work to tear you down is an entirely different circumstance that has little to do with whether I’m a victim thinker or someone living like a victor. Blame is appropriately placed on those haters when they use their words to tear us down.
I’m more focused on those people, who have my best interest at heart, who have said something that hurt my feelings. Victors have learned that hurt feelings come by choice when those feelings are the result of a loved one saying something that has brought pain into their lives. In most of these situations the words spoken that have resulted in some negative feelings came about because of what is going on in me, not what is going on in someone else.
Take a look at today’s Bible reading;
Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe. Proverbs 29:25 (NIV)
Placing my focus on the words of someone else to assign blame when my feelings get hurt misses the mark. Fear of man is epitomized by caring what others think. Trusting God means that the victor trusts what God says about him or her. The victor is God’s beloved. He or she is God’s heir, an adopted child chosen and loved by a Father who created the victor in the first place. Anytime words from a loved one, who has my best interest at heart, bring a stinging feeling in my life, I need to look at myself when it comes to allocating blame. What part of my trust in who God says I am am I allowing to be challenged by the words I heard?
Today, listen closely to the words you hear and watch for your reaction. Hurt feelings are typically a sign that the victor has gotten his or her focus wrong. Preoccupation with the horizontal is a victim thinking playground. Our vertical relationship with God is what makes it possible for you and me to live like a victor. When the sting of offense comes from words today, remind yourself who you are in Christ and live the victor’s life every chance you get.
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