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"When we are offended, we begin to create rules in our lives. We institute generalized regulations about people who remind us of the one who offended us in the first place."
As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 211.
Think of the last person who really offended you. Can you see their face? How does it make you feel to think about this person?
If you are like me, the mere thought of the person who last offended me makes me kind of angry. I even get a bit of a sick feeling in my stomach when that person comes to mind. Sad thing is that if we fail to deal with those feelings properly, they will drive us to do things in this life God never intended for us to take part in.
I said in my quote above that offense can make us institute rules regarding people who remind of those who have offended us. Certain nationalities, races, genders, occupations, roles, and even religions can become off limits when offense is allowed to linger in the life of the victor. If we fail to deal with the effects of offense for long periods of time, the world in which we are allowed to function gets smaller and smaller. When this happens, our impact on this world diminishes as well.
Take a look at what the Bible says about offense.
The way we know we’ve been transferred from death to life is that we love our brothers and sisters. Anyone who doesn’t love is as good as dead. Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know very well that eternal life and murder don’t go together. 1 John 3:15 (MSG)
John says that the way we know we have been transformed by God Himself is by the characteristic of love. He says that transformation is the result when we show love for our brothers and sisters. Who are our brothers and sisters? I hate to tell you this but everyone is your brother and sister. Even that person that last offended you so badly is a brother or sister. You have been transformed when you are able to love that person just as fully as you can love someone who has treated you kindly.
Look, I’m in no way saying you have to have a deep and profound relationship with someone who has offended you. Some people are down right dangerous and need to be avoided. I don’t for a minute believe God is saying that we are to put ourselves in harms way and let dangerous people take advantage of us. At the same time, I do believe God is saying we are to love those people. How are we to do that?
I believe the place love begins is forgiveness. It is when we forgive those who have offended us that we are showing a love that is nothing short of Heavenly. Remember, forgiveness isn’t saying what the person did is alright. It isn’t saying that you have to be best buddies with the offender. Forgiveness isn’t even saying you have to forget what they did. Forgiveness is all about bringing freedom to you, not giving the person who hurt you a pass.
The more we forgive, the more the love John is talking about happens in our lives. Transformation happens as we learn to love through the lessons of forgiveness.
Our reading from John makes an interesting connection between love and death. He says, “Anyone who doesn’t love is as good as dead!” Those are pretty strong words. I don’t think John is talking about physical death. I think he is taking about a death that happens inside when love isn’t what God intends it to be in our lives. It is when we fail to forgive that love dries up, and I believe John’s words about death become more real than we might want them to be.
Do you want to feel dead or alive in all you get to do today? If you want to feel alive, then love. You love as you start forgiving all those in your life who have offended you. The power you need to live out your victor status comes as you are transformed by God Himself. Let the love God has for you be all you need to make forgiveness be a power in your life like never before.
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