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"Urgency in our lives brings us face-to-face with “have to” statements. Those statements are fertile ground for victimization and the possibility of victim thinking."
As quoted from the book “Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society” by John H. Hovis Page 176.
The urgent things in our lives seem to really cause havoc. Everyday we deal with important things, and we seem to do that quite well. It is when we are in the middle of the important things of life when the urgent hits and then things can get pretty dicey.
You know what I mean by that. It seems like just when we are on a role, dealing with our typical busy day that something will come up that demands our attention. It doesn't matter how important the other things in life are at the moment an urgent matter appears. When the urgent shows up all our best plans go out the window.
What's even worse is when several things come up at once that can be labeled as urgent. It is during those times when it feels like we are going to explode. It is those competing urgent events in life that can really drive us to the point of exhaustion and near on insanity. Particularly when it seems like all we deal with is urgent events.
The words "have to" really come to life when we are forced to operate in the realm of the urgent. Those things that rise to level of urgent in our lives make it as though we have no choice but to deal with the situation immediately. "Have to" speaks to obligation. This fact, whether real or perceived, usually comes at a great cost to our personal lives, particularly so in the relationships that we hold so dear.
Urgency makes it so that we can cause great damage to ourselves and to the important people that love us so. We can take on such a "have to" attitude in dealing with the urgent that or focus makes us ignore the important ways that can cause victimization whether we know it or not. It is when we remain in that place where the urgent demands our attention for prolonged periods of time that victim thinking can really grab hold in our lives.
Crazy thing about the urgent things in our lives is that they might not be as urgent as we really think. Dwight D. Eisenhower had this to say about the urgent vs the important, "What Is Important Is Seldom Urgent and What Is Urgent Is Seldom Important." Figuring out the difference between the urgent and the important can be such a difficult task to complete. I believe learning how to discern the urgent from the important is one of the most important skills we can ever cultivate in our lives.
How can we get the discernment needed to recognize when we are being drawn from the wise focus on the important to the, often times, foolish over preoccupation with the urgent? I believe that there are two things we can do to help cultivate this discernment. The first one is spelled out in today's Bible reading.
"But God told Samuel, 'Looks aren’t everything. Don’t be impressed with his looks and stature. I’ve already eliminated him. God judges persons differently than humans do. Men and women look at the face; God looks into the heart.'" 1 Samuel 16:7 (MSG)
We have to be able to see as God sees. He isn't swayed by the outward appearance - it is what is going on on the inside of people and of situations that God pays attention to. The urgent usually comes with such force and appears to be all consuming. It is only when we take time to step back, seek God and look on the inside of what is really going on can we ever be able to rightly discern the urgent from the important.
The second way we can begin to recognize the urgent from the important is to listen to our words as we describe what is going on in our life. If we are using the words like "have to" to describe all we need to do to tackle a particular task, it might be that we are leaning towards the urgent at the expense of all those really important things in our lives. The words "have to" get our souls ready for a battle against the urgent in ways we might not realize is happening.
Listen to yourself today. Whenever you use the words "have to" what does that really mean? If it is that you are seeing yourself as being in the position of needing to change plans, put off relationships and/or sacrifice the important for something that has come up in your life something might be amiss. "Have to" statements might be pointing you towards tasks that need God's perspective on so that you don't get yourself in a position where damage to yourself or to others might occur.
When you hear yourself say "have to" stop and ask God to give you eyes to see into the situation that is placing such an immediate demand on your attention. Is it really so urgent that the important needs to take a back seat at this time? Of course there are those situations that will arise that need immediate attention. I'm only saying that don't be so quick to jump until you are sure you are not sacrificing the important on the alter of the urgent. Too many victims have been made by the good intentions of victors trying to balance the important events in their lives with the urgent that comes up from time to time.
Bottom line is, don't let the urgent take control of your life. Letting "have to" take over and drive your actions is something that makes victim thinking abound. Take time today to see past the urgent so that the important doesn't get lost in the shuffle.
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