Day 47 - Victims and Victimizers

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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“Victim Syndrome can manifest itself in the thought (either perceived or real) that bad things always happen. When those feelings are left unchecked, the victims of Victim Syndrome can actually become victimizers themselves.”

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 9.

Take a look at almost any offender in prison and you will probably find that their lives have been marked by horrible victimization in their own lives. It is a sad and dangerous fact that victims often become some of the most terrible victimizers in their own right. This is the most damaging results of victim thinking in the lives of those trying to live like victors.

It is a sad fact that the past often repeats itself, particularly when it comes to family relationships. How many of us have said, “I will never do what my parents did!” only to find us doing similar things to our own kids? It doesn’t help our cause to change when we are stuck in the real or perceived thought  that bad things will always be a part of our lives. That’s the root of Victim Syndrome and the basis for a lifetime of victim thinking.

Victors have found a way to recreate their lives from the ashes of the past. This is not an easy thing to do but it can be done. There comes a time in everyone’s life when we hit that crossroads of choice; one direction takes us deeper into victim thinking, the other to victor living. Many people are able to choose the right path on their own, but I just don’t know how they do so without God in their lives. There is a verse in the Bible that sums up God’s part of the decision we have at the crossroads of life.

Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)

New creation - that’s what those of us caught in victim thinking need to have happen in order for us to break out of the  cycle that often leads to greater and greater victimization in and around our lives. This verse gives me such great hope. It is Christ that makes this new creation possible. My own efforts, though necessary to live out this new creation, aren’t required for me to realize that I have the chance to live like the victor God made me to be.


If, today,  you find your life in a place where newness is simply a must lift your eyes from this earth and fix your gaze on Jesus. Let His work be what starts a flood of newness in your life. Christ didn’t suffer the results of victimization in this world to make you a victim. He died to make you a victor! That’s what you are. Start living that kind of life right now. Victors have the greatest  opportunity to choose to end the cycle of victimization that often haunts their relationships. Let today be one filled with the freedom of being a victor!

Day 46 - Battle of the Wills

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"God’s will can't be done if our will is in control."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 112.

I have a pretty good idea as to what my will is most of the time.  How about you?  My will is to live as beautiful, fun, prophetable, peaceful and impacting life as I can given the time I have left here on earth. Yes, understanding my will most of the time really isn't all that difficult.  It's when I consider what the will of god is, particularly for my life, that has caused me a lot of confusion in the past.  I don't think I'm alone with that last statement.

I've heard countless people, faced with having to make a decision in their life, ask, " I wished I knew god's will for me in this situation." Have you ever had times like this in your life or have thought the same thing?

A few years ago I came across a bible verse that made me stop questioning what god's will might be for my life.  I still question as to whether I am fully living up to what this verse says.  But for me, the "mystery" of god's will is no longer a mystery to me.  Here's what it says in today's bible reading about the will of god.

With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ. Ephesians 1:7-10 (NIV)

Ultimately the will of god is to unify everything in heaven and everything on earth under Jesus Christ.  One translation of the bible says to bring everything under the head of Christ.  I take this to mean that god's goal is to put everything under the authority of Jesus.  What does everything mean when it comes to you and to me?  I think it means that our jobs, our family, our money, our thoughts, our actions, our identity, our ministry, even every single breath we take is to be under the authority, supervision, and at the pleasure of our savior Jesus Christ.  That's a pretty big and bold statement!

I actually find this definition of god's will to be very encouraging.  Why?  Because god's will is part of everything that I do.  That means all my successes and even all my failures are to be brought under in unified in the name of Jesus.  This is encouraging to me because it means that even the things that tend to make me feel like a victim are actually part of the plan that is greater than my will will ever be able to match or exceed.

That's why I believe that if my will is in control god's will cannot be done.  My will is all too often singularly focused, it's all about me!  God's will is universally focused.  It is to bring unity amongst the billions and billions of wills that exist in our world today.  What will unify that will?  It is the plan of god to bring all things under the authority of Jesus Christ.

The other thing that encourages me about this newfound answer to the mystery of god's will is the fact that even my most selfish ambitions can, and just might be, part of the will of god as, it too, is being brought under the headship of Jesus.  God does not expect us to give up on our dreams and aspirations.  He is looking for us to allow our dreams and aspirations to come under the authority of Jesus.  Does this mean that we will always receive what we want when it comes to our dreams and aspirations?  Unfortunately, no.

There will be times in all our lives where we will have to live just as Jesus did.  We too might be in a position where we might have to say, "Not my will, but yours be done." Those can be difficult and challenging times for sure.  But, the victor knows that god's plan, god's dreams and god's aspirations are always more complete than our plans, dreams and aspirations will ever be.

There will be a multitude of things that you will be involved in today or your will is going to play a significant role in your success or failure.  I recommend that you challenge yourself with this question, "Does my will in any way interfere with the will of god?" In other words, does what you want to do in any way disrupt the plan for this time in your world to be unified with and under the authority of Jesus?  This is not necessarily a simple question to answer.  It is one that god will make more than abundantly clear to those situations in your life that might come into direct conflict with the unity of the party that is god's will.

Day 45 - Gratitude

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"When it comes to contentment in the context of prosperity, the Christian minister and author Bill Gothard has it right. He says, 'Contentment is not the fulfillment of what you want, but the realization of how much you already have.'"

As quoted from the book victor - breaking free from a victim of a society by John H. Hovis Page 103.

Do we ever live in a society where contentment is the exact opposite of the quote stated above.  For me, I've been taught contentment really happens when I get all that I want.  How about you? When I don't get what I want a lot more is usually in trouble in my life than just the issue of lack of contentment.  When I'm stuck facing the possibility of not getting what I want is when victim thinking can really take hold. It is in these times when I'm more apt to say and do things that can be quite victimizing to those around me.

What a radically different view of contentment Gothard highlights above. Could the key to contentment really be focusing on how much I already have? It really all comes down to gratitude.  Contentment and gratitude are unmistakably linked.  Why?  Because if contentment really is the realization that we have been blessed even when we don't have all we want, isn't it much easier to be thankful for what we have rather than distraught over those things we think we need in our life?

Gratitude, or thanksgiving, is a topic that is discussed quite a bit in the bible.  Take a look at today's reading as it relates to gratitude and contentment.

But godliness with contentment is great gain For we brought nothing into the world, and we can take nothing out of it. But if we have food and clothing, we will be content with that. 1 Timothy 6:6-8 (NIV)

We've been taught that it is of great gain when we receive all that we want.  And it is!  Today's bible reading points out a different perspective on great gain.  So much of the world is forced to be content with getting just enough food for the day.  Do those people who find it a challenge to even feed themselves want more in their lives?  Of course they do!  But, don't you know how thankful they are for the food they were able to enjoy that day when just that morning the prospects for that meal were somewhere between slim and none? Contentment and gratitude are placed in such a different perspective when choices for the basics of life are in limited supply.

Here's how blessed I am, sometimes I'm not sure what comes first, contentment or gratitude.  I've been in situations where was so easy to give thanks for my life because of the feeling of contentment.  I've also been so discontent and adopted a strategy of thanksgiving in a way that made it easier to move on from that feeling of being discontent.  I feel the need to stop and say thank you God for the fact that so much has been given in my life that I don't have to worry about where my next meal might come from.  That kind of gratitude puts a lot of things in perspective, doesn't it?

There is nothing wrong with going after all that we can in this life.  Prosperity isn't an evil thing!  It is when we tie our identity to the things we have or don't have where contentment can become a real challenge.  It is when I am forced to deal with my lack of contentment in ways were gratitude is so hard to find that victim thinking stands the best chance to rule in my life.

I guarantee that you and I will face issues today where our contentment might challenged.  I think it's time we do something different when that seems to be the case. Let's try gratitude. When something hits you that makes you think about what you are lacking, stop and write down five things that you are grateful for. Then do one more thing. Send that list off to someone who might not expect to receive something like that from you. Then sit back and watch what happens. You never know, that gratitude list may open the door to a conversation that changes more than your life today!

Day 44 - From Where Does Your Confidence Arise?

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"Victors’ confidence doesn’t come from being better. Their confidence doesn’t come from their success. Heavenly confidence comes from relationship with God."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 47.

The world teaches that our confidence is to come from what we do. The more you accomplish the more people expect a confidence to be there. God forbid that the confident person face failure after failure in their lives. It is in these difficult times that the victim thinker is separated from those living the victor’s life.

The Bible has a lot to say about confidence. One of my favorite verses dealing with confidence is shown below.

Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. Hebrews 4:16 (NIV)

We can approach God for one reason, and one reason only. It is because of what Jesus did for us that opens the doors to the throne room of God for the victor. There isn’t a single thing, big or small, that we will do that will give us the ability to enter God’s palace. In fact our works are described as filthy rags (actually a lot more gross than that) in the Bible.

Victim thinkers are stuck in the false belief that their efforts will one day be enough to make them feel deserving of the Love God gives to them freely. The more success they have in their work the better they feel. When their work doesn’t measure up to their expectations the steps backwards they take way out pace any forward progress they find in their success. Relying on our own efforts is a losing battle and something that victim thinkers find very difficult to get rid of in their lives.

It isn’t that victors don’t like to work hard. They do their best to not let their work become something it isn’t suppose to be - proof that they measure up to a standard they will never be able to achieve on their on. Victors want to prove their worth but realize that it is impossible and unnecessary to prove anything when it comes to  their Heavenly Father. Confidence for victors comes in the fact that God’s door is always open to them because they are His Child.


We all need to find mercy and grace in our day today. Victim thinkers will be busy trying to earn the right to approach God for that mercy and grace. Victors will barge right looking for the source of that mercy and grace. Once there, victors realize that the mercy and grace they need is in the very presence of God, not in the results of what they are doing. Walk right in. Bask in the power of God’s Presence. Take what God gives for you to do what’s on your plate today and leave the results of your efforts in the hands of your Heavenly Father.

Day 43 - Compromise

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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“That’s the danger of allowing the roles we play to define our identity. Roles always change.”

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 16.

As the old saying goes, there are two things guaranteed in life - death and taxes. I want to add a third, roles will change, it's a guarantee. Sometimes roles change in a dramatic and often, unnerving way! The fact that changing roles are a reality means that using roles to define who we are is a dangerous place for the victor to be. Those who bank on the steadfastness of a particular role they are playing to define who they are are destined to live the miserable life of a victim thinker.

Roles change. It’s a simple fact that just can’t be argued against. Even the titan in business, who's role as a business magnate will change when he is either too old to do the job or when he passes away, has to face this fact. Just like death and taxes are assured, roles are guaranteed to change. Why would you ever allow any role you play be the defining characteristic of your identity?

Part of the reason we work so hard to keep a winning role as part of our identity is that we are afraid of not knowing who we might be when our roles do change. Worse than that, most of us are afraid of not liking who we might become when roles change. That fear has its basis in the fact that our perspective is too short sighted. Victors seem to have an eternal perspective that makes the roles they play less impacting when it comes to identity. Take a look at today’s Bible reading in this light.

“Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 (NIV)

Victim thinking happens more frequently when we fix our eyes on the shifting roles that are ahead of us. That kind of short-sightedness can lead to a feeling of hopelessness when what we are focused on doesn’t work out as well as we would like. The victor has found ways to fix his eyes on the Lord and make the eternal more of his/her daily life and identity. Living a life like this makes changing roles less and less of an issue to the victor.


So, to your list of guarantees (death and taxes) add the fact that your roles will change. As you see this change in roles happening in your life today, take a deep breath and know that God is in the middle of that change. The eternal glory spoken about in the verse above is for you! Why? Because you are a victor in Christ. No amount of role change can alter that fact. Take each change as it comes today with a dose of confidence that comes from the fact that your identity is secured by the eternal and, often unseen, things of God. That’s the kind of antidote victors need to the kinds of  victim thinking that can come with the reality of shifting roles.

Day 42 - The Problem With Structure

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"As society grew, man saw the need for more and more structure to somehow help us better understand what should be a growing relationship with God. It’s sad to say, but structure is where people seem to always get it wrong."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 69.

What do you think about the statement, "... structure is where people seem to always get it wrong"? I'll bet if you are a structure trained and structure believing person like me, that statement is a little bit offensive.

You see, I'm in no way condemning structure. I firmly believe the only thing standing between the goodness of this life and utter chaos is structure. What I am commenting on is man's continued and hapless reliance on structure to help us all find security in who we are. Identity based on structure, particularly when that identity requires some connection to a relationship with a god through religion however you define it, is a complete waste of time. Reliance on structure in any form to assure identity is a strategy filled with victim thinking traps.

It's not that structure is bad. No structure is necessary, even in religion. It is when we place our trust in the structure to help us learn about, apply and rely upon our identity that trouble starts to happen. Structure isn't the answer, relationship is especially when it comes to religion.

The Old Testament is a structure lover's paradise. God instituted a system of religion that is so complete in structure that it makes my head swim. What started out as ten commandments morphed into several books of the Bible as God gave the structure loving people what they so eagerly craved - a method of finding and living out their God-given identity. Those ten commandments explained in two books has morphed into near countless volumes of do's and don'ts as structure dependent leaders worked to satisfy structure loving followers.

After all the structure design and implementation in the Old Testament God chooses to place the following verse for us to consider today.

I don’t want your sacrifices—I want your love; I don’t want your offerings—I want you to know me. Hosea 6:6 (THE LIVING BIBLE)

Structure is exemplified in the Old Testament by the words "sacrifices" and "offering". It took a lot of structure to maintain a sacrificial system and to provide the offerings necessary for those in love with structure to be able to relate to their God. The more they did to try and become who God already saw them to be the more structure became the focus. It's when structure becomes the focus that the thing that structure was intended to support that we start to lose our way.

So why would God design a system of structure to enable His people to get to him? I believe it was because he was using the Israelites of the Old Testament as an object lesson for us all. What's the lesson? We need relationship with God! In other words, no amount of our efforts will ever make it possible for us to become fully what He has made us to be.

Notice what it says in our reading. It's not the system he wants, it is the result of what that system was suppose to bring. Sacrifice and offering will always take a back seat to love and relationship as far as God is concerned. A system will always fall short in God's eyes if that system gets in the way of us being loved by God and if that system fails to give us the opportunity to be known by him. That's what is meant when I said that when it comes to structure people always seems to get it wrong.

Maybe it would be wise to do a system check in your life today. Are any of the systems, and the resulting structure you rely upon, distracting you from the reality of who you are? It's easy to tell if this is the case. If, in spite of all the things you do today you still feel like you don't know who you are or if your identity doesn't feel like it is measuring up to what you want it to be you might have a system issue.

How does one correct a system issue? That's easy! Focus is the answer. Instead of focusing on the system to make you lovable and known, focus on the God who already knows you and loves you so dearly. No system will ever be able to replace a laser focused attention on the one who made you a victor in the first place.


Today, let the fact God sees you to be all you need to be in order to live the life of a victor. Working from this foundation enables all the systems and structure in your life your to be empowered in a way that maximizes impact in the world around you.

Day 41 - Our Standing

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"We need to see ourselves as God sees us. That’s where the freedom of being a victor can come for all us Children of God. Not knowing our standing before God leaves the door open to victim thinking."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. HovisPage 49.

How do you see yourself right now in your life? How does your life stack up when compared to the whatever you think makes you measure up in this world? If you are like me, the answer to those questions change significantly as my circumstances change. If life is going well my standing in the world is pretty secure. When bad times hit I can be extremely unsure of my standing.

That's the danger of tying our standing to anything that can change over time. The changes we experience can make us doubt our standing and place us in a position where it is so easy to fall into victim thinking. In order to walk fully in our identity as a victor it is critical that our standing be tied to something that is unlikely to change, something that has a standard in which we can trust and something that we can believe has our best interests at heart. For me, I haven't found anything in this world that fits this bill except a relationship with God himself.

Here's what the Bible says on the subject of the battle we have with ourselves when it comes to our standing.

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24 (NIV)

I like the visual painted in today's reading. The issues of standing, and therefore identity, is something that I can visualize akin to getting dressed. I have to "put off" the old ways and "put on" the new.
The old ways are those standards that define my standing in ways that can make me doubt that standing from time to time. The new ways are synonymous to me learning to find my standing through the way God sees me and learning how to trust that new way of "putting on" my standing in this world.

The reason I like the getting dressed metaphor when it comes to my standing is it helps me to make sense why I don't default to the new way of "putting on" described in our reading today. You see, "putting on" the new requires for me to "put off" the old. Truth is I like the old, I'm comfortable with it even though it lets me down from time to time. It's like that old shirt or those old shoes. Though they are well-worn and tattered, they have served me well in the past and I find it difficult at times to "put off" the old and "put on" the new.

Our standing is assured in Christ! Our standing is not assured when viewed using standards from this world. Isn't it time to "put off" the old ways of letting our circumstances be a part of what defines who we are and therefore our standing? I know it is hard to just throw away that old garment that represents the old way of verifying our standing but the new garment of standing in God's eyes is so much better suited for who we are.

When issues come up today that make you doubt your standing maybe it's time for a wardrobe change in the spiritual sense. As those doubts hit you take a moment to actually visualize the process of "putting off" the old and "putting on" the new.


Your standing is secure in how God sees you. There is no amount of success in your tasks today that can enhance your standing and no amount of failure that can diminish it. You are His child. That makes you a victor! Your circumstances and their success or failure have nothing to do with that standing. Remember, God sees you as perfect - now that's a standing we all should find easy to "put on."