Day 132 - Obsessions

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"It’s when we become so obsessed with finding the answer to “Why?” at all costs, that our lives can spiral into the pit that is victim thinking."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 140.

What are you obsessed about? My wife tells me my obsession is finishing things. There has been more than one time when she simply mentions, in passing, some issue left undone and just like that I have that thing done in no time. She let's people know that they shouldn't mention things that need to get done around me because I might make getting that thing done my mission. 

You see it isn't necessarily a bad thing that I like to get things done. Personally I think the world could use a little more of us obsessed with getting things done. It is when my drive to get things done interferes with my important relationships or my personal health or my spiritual growth that even this good trait can be an enemy in my life. 

Same goes with any obsession when it takes control of our lives. It is when we get so focused on that one thing that seems to grab our attention like no other that we tend to get way out of balance. So much so that victim thinking can take hold, especially when what we are obsessed on is something that is beyond our control in ways that make us feel like we just don't measure up. 

This is particularly the case when we become obsessed with trying to find the reasons behind the challenging times that come against us. Being obsessed with finding out the answer to "Why?" when bad times hit can be a debilitating and victim thinking prospect. It is when the answer to the "Why?" times in our lives is slow in coming that our victor status is seriously jeopardized.

There was a King of Israel named David. He penned a good number of the Psalms in the Bible. I love how David was so real in his writings. He didn't hold back when it came to His conversations with God. David asked "Why?" of God more than once. Rightfully so. His life was filled with so many challenging times. Sure, David makes some pretty big mistakes that came with a package of consequences he had to deal with. Those situations David didn't seem to question God about. It was when those who should have known better had it out for David in life threatening ways that the question of "Why?" was directly put before God. 

Today's reading is one such case. Check out how David boldly questions God during a particularly bad time in his life. 

Why, Lord, do you stand far off? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble? Psalm 10:1 (NIV)

Now that's pretty honest. Whatever was happening in David's life made him feel like God had abandoned him. It was as though no matter how hard David looked for God, He seemed to be hiding from David at the time he needed God the most. Have you ever felt that way? I sure have. I kind of wish I had the guts or the insight to be as bold to ask of God "Why?" as clearly as David did. 

Sometimes David was answered by God in ways that made him realize that God never left him. Other times God's presence seemed to be so absent that the question of "Why?" nearly drove David to the brink. Somehow David continued to believe that God's salvation was worth so much more than always getting the "Because!" to his "Why?" times. Even when David flirted with victim thinking as a result from being obsessed with finding the answer to his "Why?" he seemed to be able to let his victor status take over in ways that drove victim thinking away.

What made it possible for David to be able to return to his victor status even when his life had victim written all over it? I believe it is that David believed what God said about him. He let the God-given identity spoken over David's life be all that mattered. Even when the bad times hit, David seemed to just believe what God said about him and he didn't let his circumstances contradict God's words.

I love what God said about David. God described David as, "A man after God's own heart." Now that's a description of life that is powerfully deep. David wasn't after worldly riches. He wasn't after power or influence. He wanted to be able to understand and live out God's heart. Even when the bad times came, David knew he could speak to God openly and with a boldness that bordered on the irreverent. He even spoke to God with a little bit of indignation that some might say was dishonoring to God. Yet David never seemed to waiver on the fact that God was for Him even when it looked like God didn't seem to care about the terrible circumstances that David faced. 

That's how I want to live life. I want to live life with a realness that allows me to be open and direct with God like David. I also want to live life with a belief in God's words over me in a way that says I know who I am no matter what this world does to try and rob me of my identity. Good news is that is exactly what God wants for me and for you as well. He wants us to live a life that includes just as much bold communication and steadfast belief as that lived out in David's life. 

The truth is that the answers to the "Why?" questions we have in bad times really don't have a single thing to do with who we are. We are God's Child whether our circumstances are good or if they are bad. The good times don't prove who we are just as the bad times don't take away from our identity. Asking "Why?" isn't a bad thing unless we need the answer to better know who we are. 

The "Because!" surrounding the bad times of our lives will never do anything to help us come to grips with who we are before this God that loves us so. What God says about us is all that matters when it comes to our status as a victor. If we look to our circumstances as proof as to the validity of God's words, victim thinking can't help but to be a part of our life. 

Whatever your obsession in life might be, don't let it take you to places where you can't see God's heart. This is particularly the case with being obsessed with finding the answers to the "Why?" times in your life. 

God has spoken. You are His Child. Nothing can change that. This world will never be able to give enough proof of this identity. Go ahead and be bold. Ask God "Why?" but be like David and quickly return to the firm foundation of identity. It is God's identity for you that makes it possible to live out this life as the victor that He has made possible for you today. 

Day 131 - Trying to Repay Love

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"I pray that you will find yourself in a place where you see the uselessness of trying to repay the overwhelming grace God has lavished in your life."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 130.

Yes, I'm actually praying for your failure. How about that? Truth is, so is God. He is hoping that you and I will so completely fail at being able to pay Him back for His amazing love for us that we will simply give up. What a day of celebration it is when one of God's children wake up to a new day - a day when they realize that they just can't ever repay God's love. His love is unfathomable. It is more precious than any amount we will ever earn. It is more valuable than any service we will ever do for Him. His love is something that, though is free, it is beyond our ability to ever pay Him back. 

Having just said that I know that I will once again dive back in to that place where I'm working to try and prove God made a good decision in choosing me. That's the place victim thinking waits to sink it's sharp talons deep into our lives. Thinking or acting to prove anything God has said about us is the foundation for victim thinking. Isn't it time to just stop going down that road? Yet, that's what we will do time and time again on this journey we all are on. 

Working to try and do the impossible is such a demoralizing thing to do. That kind of work leaves us broken and without hope. Sadly, even in that broken and hopeless place we are likely to pick up that burden again only to find more brokenness and despair. Why do we continue on such a hopeless duty? I believe it is because of one word - PRIDE.

Look at today's Bible reading and consider what it has to say about pride. 

Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honor. Proverbs 29:23 (NIV)

Pride brings a person low. That's the place of brokenness and hopelessness I was speaking of before. Pride says, "I can prove to God that I'm acceptable." It is when we come to the end of that rope that we discover the amazing grace of this Lord of ours. Look at what today's reading says. Pride brings a person low, but in that low spot we receive great honor. 

God never leaves us in any pit of despair that has resulted from our prideful ways. When we are ready to be pulled out of that place. He doesn't condemn us or even chastise us for the thinking that brought us to that lowly place. He is so quick to extend His powerful hand to lift us up. He longs to set us in that spot where we can finally accept the love He has made for us. That's when our identity as a Child of God starts to take on a power in the victor's life like never before. 

Look, we have a lot of really hard work to do in this life. Work that we will find tremendously rewarding and fulfilling. I can state with total confidence that working to prove who you are in God's eyes isn't the hard work God has set before us. The only reward for that kind of work is brokenness - a lowly life filled with victim thinking results. 

That work also is a distraction. Expending the tremendous effort required to try and prove that we measure up is keeping us from doing the Kingdom work God wants us to partner with Him on. Isn't it time to start believing you are who God says you are? Stop looking to your circumstances to prove you are something of worth. You are His Child and that makes you a victor. That's all the truth you need to kill the pride waiting to draw you down into lowly places. If, however, you are like me and will probably let pride drag you into some pit here or there, know this - God is there and honor awaits us all!

God isn't asking you to stop the amazing work you are going to do today. He gave you that work! He wants the best for you and the success you might be on the cusp of experiencing might be part of that best. It is when our souls crave that success as proof of something about who we are that pride has us poised for failure, even when worldly success is the result. 

If you are feeling empty today in spite of your positive circumstances, maybe you are in that lowly place described in today's Bible reading. Lift your eyes. God has His hand of love extended to lift you up to a place of honor. He isn't honoring you because of your great accomplishments. He is honoring you because of what He says about you is true. Let today be a day of victory as you live the life of a victor God has called you to be. 

Day 130 - Drill Instructor

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"It isn’t long before that drill sergeant of a voice coming from our soul sounds more like a distant whisper. Soon, the quietness of a depleted soul is replaced with the ever-growing voice saying that you are no good. Victim thinking can be the result of a soul that has grown weary of trying to bring world-driven prosperity into the life of a human being."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 112.

When our souls are at their best, they are like a drill sergeant. Have you ever seen a drill sergeant? I knew a young man who was a drill instructor in the Marines. I made the mistake of calling him a drill sergeant - I found out that's what they call this special breed of people in the ARMY. I quickly learned that you don't mistake a Marine position for one that is held in the ARMY. I'll never make that mistake again. 

Drill instructors or drill sergeants are people who have a very specialized job. They take average people like you and me and break us down to the point where we can be built back up again to become an effective fighting machine. They aren't subtle about what they do. I haven't met one yet that hasn't done permanent damage to their voices from all the yelling they do at recruits under their tutelage. 

It isn't that these people necessarily like being mean. It is that they have been trained in a process that helps the recruit get to a place where they have the best chance of surviving war time conditions. If they appear to be mean it is because they are trying to prepare young men and women to do their best in situations that the average person wouldn't otherwise ever be able to deal with. 

When you hear a drill instructor give a command it isn't something you soon forget. The shear volume and force of their voice is enough to make grown men cringe. That's how our souls are when they are at their best. The will, intellect and emotions combine to form the perfect drill instructor. Just like their human counterpart, the drill sergeant of a soul is there do help us survive in a dangerous world. 

It is when the soul has been beat up by this world that that strong, authoritative voice of the soul starts to sound like a pathetic whisper. When the soul comes to the place of exhaustion as a result of fighting the possibility of a crewel world that the drill sergeant voice of the soul becomes something we can barely hear. What replaces that authoritative voice is the voice of doubt and fear. That's a voice you soon don't forget either. It is that other voice that can cause real victim thinking possibilities for those of us trying to live this life as the victor God has called us to be. 

When the soul has reached its breaking point we can really start to believe how bad the world tries to make us see our lives as being. We can question whether we are of any use to this world at all. Our goodness looks like nothing. Our ability to do anything right seems to be the last thing we can ever trust in our lives. When the drill sergeant voice of the soul is quietened by the badness of this world we are in real trouble as far as victim thinking is concerned. 

Take a look at this horrible sounding Bible verse with me. 

You will live in constant suspense, filled with dread both night and day, never sure of your life. Deuteronomy 28:66 (NIV)

I believe this is exactly what if feels like when the voice of the soul has been extinguished. Suspense, dread, lacking assurance... all characteristics of someone who is firmly stuck in victim thinking. Let me say something as emphatically as I can, this is not how God intended you to live in this life. 

It is my opinion that we get to this point when we rely entirely on the soul to do a job it was never intended to do. Our soul was never to be the gateway between the spiritual world and the physical world as it has been since the fall of Adam and Eve. Our soul was to be empowered by the spirit in ways that work to make change in this world happen. We use the soul to help us achieve the good life goals we want for ourselves and wonder why our lives end up sounding like today's reading when our souls can no longer live up to the impossible tasks we push its way.

The soul isn't weak - it is just doing the wrong job. It is the spirit's job to tap into the heavenly's for direction in what we are to do and to lead the way when it comes to making what God has for us turn into a reality here on earth. When the soul is tasked with being on high alert to protect the spirit 24/7 it comes to a place of total exhaustion. When the soul is led into battle by our spirit communing with God's spirit it can't help but to thrive in ways that turn our natural abilities into supernatural results. This is particularly the case when God allows us to step into deep and dark places where His light will shine out of us no matter how circumstances turn out in our lives. 

Just like those fresh recruits being yelled at by that drill instructor are being prepared for battle, we too are being trained for a war that is going on all around us. Spiritual warfare is a real prospect in the life of a believer. Our souls are completely up to the task of helping us fight this war, but our will, intellect and emotions can't do it alone. We need the spirit's leadership. Isn't it time we got our spirits involved in the battles happening all around us?

Today you have a choice when it comes to the soul. You can continue letting your soul be the driving force in your life or you can let the spirit take charge. I guarantee you that if you choose to let the soul stay in command, one day that strong voice of your soul will die down to a faint whisper.

Before that happens, let the spirit take charge. Ask God to fire up your spirit and calm down your soul in a way that the two can work together. I can't guarantee that you will live a victorious life in the ways you want life to look. I can state with some confidence that one of the results of letting the soul come under the authority of your spirit today will be you living like the victor God has made you to be. 

Day 129 - Attitude

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"Could it be that one of the strongest allies we have in this battle to remain a victor is our own attitude about what we have?"

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 103.

Winston Churchill once said; "Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference." Attitude can be  one of the greatest allies or one of the most fierce enemies we have in the fight to live the life of a victor. 

I have to be honest with you, I suffer from a pretty serious ailment. It is not my natural inclination to have a good attitude. I had much rather start from a place of griping and complaining and then move to a place where my attitude gets a little better. Some people are blessed with an instantly good attitude. I'm not one of those people. I'm starting to see how powerful attitude can be in living this victor's life of mine. 

Truth is that my ability to have a negative attitude is a character trait hasn't served me all that well. Applying this approach to life has made it possible for me to have trained my soul to always be on the lookout for the bad in life in ways that makes it difficult for those I love to be around me from time to time. 

Attitudes are contagious. In other words, what one person might be feeling about a situation can quickly be something that others feel and then adopt in their own lives. When it is a positive attitude, contagious is a good thing. When it is a bad attitude, contagious is something we want to avoid. 

I believe my attitude problem has come from the fact that I have viewed much of my life as a victim laced proposition. Victim thinking has weaseled its way into my identity and that has made it so easy to face challenging situations with an attitude that does nothing but spawn victims all around me. I want that to change and it is!

I came across a quote that has started to make me change how I approach the bad in my life. It goes like this, "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude." Maya Angelou has it right. There are lots of things in our life that we can't change - bad things included at times. If we can't change the situation, we have the ability to change our attitude. 

That last statement isn't an admonition to be happy about where you are when you find yourself in places you'd rather not be. It is a statement of how to go through the circumstance with as much power and control as you can, even when you are powerless and have no control over the outcome of that situation. 

The Bible is pretty clear about what attitude we should have in all things good and bad. Check out today's reading with me. It says;

Be cheerful no matter what; pray all the time; thank God no matter what happens. This is the way God wants you who belong to Christ Jesus to live. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (MSG)

No matter what - good or bad, happy or sad... be cheerful. That is so hard for me to do - how about you? I so want to be this way but find that it takes time for me to come around to this kind of an attitude when I don't get what I want. I'm done with beating myself up over the fact that my knee jerk reaction is to have a not so great attitude at first. As long as I am moving towards being thankful for the fact that God is for me in the midst of challenging times, I think I'm heading in the right direction. For that I'm so grateful! 

Please don't read into today's Bible verse and believe that you are to be happy about the badness that might come against you. Being happy and having a good attitude aren't necessarily the same thing. Attitude is all about perspective. Our reading today tells us that through communion (aka prayer) we can get to a place where attitude can be what it is suppose to be in our lives. 

As you face your day today realize that your attitude is really the only thing that you have the power to change in this world. The economy may come against you. People may fight you every step of your day. Time may not be on your side. You can't change the economy. You can't change people. You surely can't change the physics of time. But, you can change your attitude. 

Take everything you face today to God in prayer. Leave it there for him and walk away to face your giants with the realization that hope is yours for the taking. Let that hope be what fuels an attitude that can't be swayed by the shifting winds of our world. As a Child of God we need our attitude to reflect the promise of an amazing future we have in Christ. Don't let your circumstances change who you are and how you live out that identity God has given you. 

Day 128 - End Of Your Rope

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"You are blessed when you are at the end of your rope. Have you ever been at the end of your rope? I bet the last word you would use to describe that time in your life is the word 'blessed.'"

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 94.

Blessed when I'm at the end of my rope - Seriously? How can that be? That statement came from The Message's presentation of Matthew 5:3. Here's how we normally hear that verse. 

Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. (NIV)

Here's how Eugene Peterson puts that same verse in his transliteration The Message. 

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule. (MSG)

I love to study the Bible. I've heard it said that God's Word is active and alive. I have found that statement to be the absolute truth. It is when we take time to dig into the words that are printed on the page that the Bible comes alive in life changing ways. When you take time to study the original words in the Bible you begin to see how one verse can look to have such different meaning like our Matthew 5 reading from today. 

On the surface, it sure looks like somebody was asleep at the wheel when they came up with these two versions of Matthew 5:3. But when you take a closer look you see that they really aren't that far apart. Before we get into the question about being blessed at the end of our rope, let's look at one part of these two different interpretations of what was originally written by Matthew and see if they make sense. 

End of your rope. That's quite a bit different sounding than poor in spirit. Yet, both the theologians working to produce the NIV Bible and Eugene Peterson did similar things to come up with the words we read today. They both tore apart the Greek words that were used to convey what Matthew wrote with regards to the sermon Jesus gave when He shared these words. They looked at the context from which those words were said. They considered their root words of what was said to get a better idea of what was meant. They then compared similar uses of those words to get a better idea of what was trying to be communicated here. Peterson did one more thing in that he tried to communicate the meaning of the words using simple, common and everyday phrases. I don't in any way compare Peterson's transliteration for the kinds of accuracy a translation like the NIV is but for gaining some understanding as to what was being said, Petereson's work is a beautiful and powerful tool for me. 

So the word for "poor in spirit" was seen by Peterson to be "end of your rope." When I consider what poor in spirit might actually mean from the original language I can see how these two connect with each other. When we are at the end of our rope, we can feel empty, lacking, actually like a pauper when it comes to spiritual power. I know what it is like to be poor in spirit and I also know what it feels like to be at the end of my rope. Those two feelings coincide very closely in my opinion. 

Where I get a little less convicted of the accuracy of Peterson's presentation is when he connects blessing to being at the end of my rope. Look, I can almost understand Jesus saying that we are blessed when we are lacking in spiritual things. I'm just learning what it is to be living in a spiritual way. Lacking in that trait is something I'm very familiar with and know that in times of little, God shows up in ways that really are a blessing. But, the thought of being blessed when I'm at the end of my rope seems kind of foolish to say the least. 

When I first read Peterson's description of this verse I dismissed it as the fact he must have had a bad moment when he wrote this out. But, I couldn't stop thinking about blessing being connected to being at the end of my rope. I kept coming back to this verse until one day I saw what blessing was being defined as in both readings. Blessing is more of God, more of His Kingdom, and, as Peterson says it - less of me. 

I am blessed when I am in a position where I can see more of God. I am just as blessed when I don't have to focus so much on my stuff. Sometimes that blessing happens when things are going really well in my life. More often than not, that blessing happens when challenging times hit. Times when I am forced to look beyond my own abilities and circumstances for something substantial in my life are times when I really look back on as being blessed times in my life. 

That's a victor's way of thinking about this life. If we require that this life be blessed only when things are going our way I really don't believe that we put ourselves in a position where reality in firmly in control. A victor isn't blessed because all things are going his way. A victor is blessed because God is there in His life. Sometimes hard times make it easier to look for and to find God in ways that make the victor more likely to live out the power God has placed in our identity. 

Are you are the end of your rope today? I hope you don't think you should be happy about that? That's not what today's Bible reading is all about. Happiness isn't the issue, blessing is! Look at your life through a different lens today. Look at blessing through the lens of presence - God's presence. He is with you because you are His Child. More of Him and less of you is what makes the power of your existence be all the victory this world will ever need to have. 

Day 127 - Curse of Provision

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link directly to the audio file.

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"Provision is definitively connected to victimhood. When we are in a place where provision isn’t an issue, we feel like a victor. Nothing seems to get us down. But when the hard times hit and provision is something at which we have to work doubly hard, victim thinking can sneak its way into our lives and play havoc with our ability to see things clearly."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 85.

There are few things more impacting to our psyche than being able to more than provide for our lives. When life is such that provision is something we really don't have to give a lot of thought to that the word victor is really easy to associate to our lives. It is when provision is hard that victor living can be such a challenge for us all.

Why is it that victor living can be so closely tied to provision? I believe it goes back to identity. When we are able to provide for ourselves and our families it is so easy to associate who we are with what we do in ways that the world really likes to see. Few people are more admired and held up for example than those who are able to go into this world and fend for themselves in ways where provision isn't an issue in their lives. I believe we all want that kind of admiration to be a part of our lives. When it isn't, victim thinking is so easy to adopt.

I think God knew that our tendency to connect our ability to provide for ourselves with who we think we are would be an issue that we needed to deal with. Right from the beginning He saw this happening and took steps to make it difficult for us to carry on this habit. Check out today's Bible reading as it relates to provision and identity.

To Adam he said, “Because you listened to your wife and ate fruit from the tree about which I commanded you, ‘You must not eat from it,’ “Cursed is the ground because of you; through painful toil you will eat food from it all the days of your life. Genesis 3:17 (NIV)

God actually cursed the work man will do in this world. He calls man's work "toil." When provision is a challenge it is really easy to see what is meant by toil when it comes to work. It isn't that God was cursing man's ability to make ends meet - that would be nothing short of evil. God saw that man would want to enable His work to be what defined Him and God knows what a failed strategy that is for any of us to follow.

God is desperate for us all to believe Him when it comes to identity. He hates that we would settle for what we do to define who we are because what we do is such a temporary thing in our lives. For that reason, God curses the identity based results of our work. It doesn't matter how successful you are at making provision happen, the curse is that that success will never be enough to confirm who you are. God just won't let that happen in ways that will last for too long.

Look, God isn't' trying to hold you back. He isn't trying to make it hard for you to provide for you and your family. God is trying to keep victim thinking from taking over in your life. Looking to our jobs and our ability for those jobs to provide the provision we need to feel good about ourselves is a victim laden strategy that way too many of us have tried to make work over the years. That strategy has been cursed from the very beginning. Maybe it is time to take on another strategy.

Today, let's try something different. Let's go out and do all we need to do to make provision part of our lives. Then, let's take a stand and not let provision be connected to identity in any way. Stand firm on the fact that you are God's Child and this makes you the victor He wants you to be whether your efforts are able to provide what you need today or not.

Day 126 - Striving & Relationship

Thoughts that have come from various quotes taken from the book, "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim Based Society" by John H. Hovis. Click here to link dtirectly to the audio file.

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"Striving isn’t bad in all circumstances, but it is a killer in relationship."

As quoted from the book "Victor - Breaking Free From a Victim-Based Society" by John H. Hovis Page 79.

Striving is defined as the act of making great effort at achieving or obtaining something. Often times, the fact that someone is willing to strive to get what they want is a fantastic character trait. I have found, however, that striving is not something that works well when it comes to relationships.

In its worst form, striving in relationships is what one might call stalking. This extreme kind of striving comes when someone is so fixated at being part of another person's life that they are willing to do things that are nothing short of scary in order to get the connections they so crave. Although this is an extreme example of the detriments to striving when it comes to relationships, I believe that relationships need something more than an undeterred drive for interaction to really make them work. 

Here's why I say that. Typically the person striving to gain something sees that thing as absolutely critical to their lives. There might be a sense that if they don't get what they are striving for their lives will be greatly impacted in a negative way. They are willing to do just about anything they can to gain what they want. As I said earlier, this isn't such a terrible thing when it comes to career, education and other worldly goals where effort is required to get to where you want to be. 

It is when we place such a high priority on what someone offers in relationship when striving can begin to cause problems as a far as victor living is concerned. Relationships were never meant to be the end all, be all when it comes to our ability to understand and live out our identity. Yet, there are so many of us who view our important relationships as absolutely necessary as far as identity is concerned. 

I believe that's one of the main reasons why divorce is such a significant problem in our world today. We have been brought up with the notion that there is someone out there who will complete us. We are so hungry for that completion that we will do whatever it takes to find and come together with that person. Striving can become such a necessary strategy for those of us looking for relationships to augment identity. 

It is when we wake up to the fact that the person we worked so hard to connect with is just as identity concerned as we are that divorce becomes such a viable alternative. Thinking that that perfect person will do what they need to do in order to make your identity secure is such a victim thinker's paradise. Looking to any relationship for the ability to determine, confirm and maintain identity is something that relationship was ever intended to do. 

That previous statement is true with all relationships we might enter into with the exception of one. Our relationship with God is the only relationship I have found that guarantees identity. The interesting thing is that we don't have to strive for relationship with God - it is there freely for the taking. Sadly, that is something we get all wrong as we allow striving to be a part of the process when it comes to seeking relationship with God. 

Our Bible reading today shows what a real relationship with God looks like.

The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Deuteronomy 31:8 (NIV)

How many of us strive for the kind of devotion shown in this verse above? God Himself goes with us and will never leave us. Because of that we don't have to be afraid. What an amazing promise from the Bible. No wonder we might think we have to work to make this promise a reality. It sounds too good to be true.

It is when we strive for relationship with God that we really mess things up. Striving comes with a reliance on our own efforts, on our own abilities to get to and get a hold of what we want. Thinking that it is all up to us to make relationship with God work is where victors find it hard to live the life God intended for them to have.

There is nothing we can do to ever be a part of the power of God walking with us other than invite Him in. We don't have to strive to get our lives together so He will accept us. We don't have to work really hard to achieve so that He will take notice of us. We don't even have to kill ourselves at devotion to Him in order to earn the favor He promises in today's Bible reading. By simply asking for and stepping into relationship with God we are immediately given what we so desperately need - a forever home, a forever identity and a forever companion that won't walk away from us no matter how badly our lives turn out.

Our reading today also makes it clear that we have to have courage when it comes to relationship with God. This isn't the case because of God's shortcomings or because of any missteps we might have in our lives. The courage we have to have is to find it in ourselves to believe in spite of what the world works so hard to tell us what relationship with this God that loves us so is all about.

Today you will find that the world wants you to do nothing more than to strive. It wants you to literally kill yourself trying to get to whatever it is you think your life needs to be. God has such a different plan.

My suggestion is to stop striving and start believing. Believe in who God says you are. As His child you are completely loved, incredibly wanted and unconditionally blessed. He has made you exactly as you are and your identity is assured as you walk out this life with Him. Have courage today and let the relationship God has made with you be the power behind all you do today.